My life ~

>>> sad and disappointed


Didnt know that after another long break between dis post and da previous post , i'm going to write in a disappointed feeling.. Yes i am very disappointed .. Not gonna mention who but i think u pretty much can guess who is it.. Oh well, he ffked for the 3rd time already.. I waited for him like some idiot, just dat i am smart enuff not to dress and get ready while waitin for him.. Well, u can say i might be controlling in some ways till he cant breathe.. but as for wat he has done in da past although he wasnt together with me yet, i cant put 100% trust on him yet.. We are already almost 6 months .. i dun really like ego guys dat will not put down his pride infront of his gf..

Sometimes i feel myself playing the guy role in da relationship rather than a girl.. I feel that i am not important at all to him.. i dunno why i am the one who is waitin for him to look for me, and in the end he did not turn up.. I was rather sad than mad when he did this to me again.. i have so much tears to flow but sometimes i just wouldnt there to let it out because i do not want to be questioned about the tears.. I feel a little bit suffering because i couldnt get his attention all the time..

Let me tell u something funny... I dare not call him all da time already.. because he said some words already hurt me and something dat i wouldnt forget.. Everyone is asking me, why am i treating him so good? sometimes i questioned myself liddat too but then again, i do not get repay back.. I knoe we shudnt expect anything back from wat u have done or sacrifice but at least make me feel dat i am someone important to him rather than making me feel like and idiot who is waiting for his calls and waitin for his arrival? I feel like giving up in dis relationship, but i do not dare to know the outcome after saying it out.. i can tell u dat, my feelings has fade towards him.. i feel stupid for loving him so much and not being loved as much as i feel for him.. what can i do? telling him how i feel isnt working because we will definitely end up arguing.. even though i let my feelings out, he will definitely defend himself either..

I do not wanna say more about it.. Sorri for da boring and emo post of mine today.. I wished my life would be happier but sadly i think itz not getting any better than wat am i feeling now..


-end-